Turning Urine into Alcohol

We all know about turning water into wine, but urine has never made anything flow other than uric acid. This “biological miracle” concerns a lady of venerable age and a surprising symptom of the very rare auto-brewery syndrome. After having accused her of being an inveterate old soak, past-mistress of alcoholism, doyenne of drunkenness, her doctors are now learnedly studying the case of this patient who urinates pure ethanol.

The bladder of this lady, who has presented with a hitherto unseen form of auto-brewery syndrome, acts as a fermentation vat, a “beer pouch,” you might say, without intending any offence. How long it will be before a professional in ondinism comes to offer her an opening in the field we couldn’t say! In days gone by, tanneries used to collect urine and pay for it; where there’s pee, there’s brass, and the money could come flooding in if a passing discomfort has the triple advantage of being able to provide inebriation, the pleasure of giving, and the joy of receiving …



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